Loading ...Kenny’s Week 3 Weigh-in
By Kenny | January 20, 2008
Here it is.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 7 Comments »
Thomas’s Week 3 Weigh-in
By Thomas | January 20, 2008
Wow, three weeks gone already. I weighed in this morning and was quite disappointed with the results.
95.1 kg translates to 209.2 lbs. This is exactly the same as last week! I didn’t lose any weight. Thankfully I didn’t gain weight either. I’m going to make an excuse and say that it’s because I had a 2-day work conference in Kobe, and with the commute time I had to skip some workouts. It looks like this is Kenny’s chance to steal the lead! I’m eager to see how he weighs in.
But don’t get sloppy Kenny. I’m making a comeback next week!
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 2 Comments »
How to Lose 1 pound in 1 minute or less.
By Kenny | January 17, 2008
I’ve learned very recently that one of the best ways to lose weight fast is to piss. In fact, 9 out of 10 doctors agree that you can lose up to 1 pound of body weight for every 16 oz of water you piss out. AMAZING!!! So you’ll probably want to start pissing as much as you possibly can. If you want to pee all the time, the best way is to drink lots of water.
In all seriousness water is really good for you, and it can be an ally in your quest to lose fat aside from just weighing less after your morning Austin Powers piss. Water plays many crucial roles within the body, like serving as a medium for molecular interactions, distributing nutrients, homones, etc…around your body and between cells, removing waste, regulating your body temperature and acting as a lubricant for joints and even acting as a shock absorber for your feeble brain.
But who cares about all that jibber jabber- how does drinking water help you become less of a fat-ass? Being hydrated is important for fat metabolism which is performed by your liver. If you’re trying to lose fat, you want your liver focused on metabolizing your body fat for energy as much as possble, however, if you’re not getting enough water, the liver will kick in and start helping your pathetic, dehydrated, water-deprived kidneys perform it’s functions, so instead of metabolizing fat into usable energy that you could be using to read blogs, fat is rerouted directly to your ass where everyone can see it and laugh at you. You don’t want people to laugh at you do you? Then drink more water.
Now that I have this blog, people are always stopping me on the street and asking me questions, “Fat Brother Kenny, I’m afraid if I drink a bunch of water my scale will go up and I want it to go down- What should I do?” And to them I say, “Move out of my way bloated, dehydrated fat person, I got shit to do.” And I walk away. What I would say to them, if I weren’t so important, is that the best way to stop retaining water, is to drink water. All the time. Like right now. Seriously- go get some water. I’ll wait……….
Our bodies have great survival instincts and if it senses that we are not getting enough water, our bodies will go into water retention mode and start conserving water in all sorts of ways that aren’t ideal, like outside of your cells in your hands, feet, lower legs, and yes, your stomach and ass. The best way to remedy this is to give your body the water it needs, whether your thirsty or not. Once your body sees that it’s getting enough water, it will store what it needs in your cells (where you want it) and get rid of it’s water stores elsewhere in your body (where you don’t want it).
So how much is enough? If you talk to They, They says to drink 8, 8oz glasses a day and another glass for every 25 pounds you want to lose, (so if you’re 25 lbs overweight, drink 1 extra glass per day, 50 lbs, drink 2, etc…) plus more if you are working out and exercising. WARNING: don’t drink all of your daily water at one time or you will die like that woman who tried to win a video game for her kids. I fall under the category of being 25 pounds over weight so I try to drink 72oz per day and I’ll drink more if I work out. My strategy is I chug 16 oz first thing in the morning and 16 oz before bed no matter what. During the day at work I use a 20 oz water bottle that I fill up and drink 2x per day, which comes to 72oz which is about right for a 220-something-pound Swedish studhunk. If I work out that day, I’ll drink 16-20oz while I’m doing that in addition to my routine. by the way, I do not count water that I drink with any protein shakes or coffee or whatever. Just clean pure water. Just so you know, if you haven’t been drinking a lot of water, then you start do like I did, you are going to have to pee all the damn time. You’re going to think something’s wrong with you, and you’re probably right about that, but it doesn’t have to do with your peeing all the time. That part’s normal. Your body is flushing itself of all it’s extracellular water stores and for a few days you’re going to have to piss. A lot. But after a few days, you’re life will return to normal.
Tommy you should proabably add 1 or 2 cups of water per day make up for the tears of sadness and frustration that you cry out every night knowing you will lose to me in this competition.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 13 Comments »
Week 2 Overview and Our First Sponsor
By Thomas | January 16, 2008
Well, week 2 weigh-ins are over and Fat Brother Kenny surprised us all with a big 5.4 lbs weight loss. My big lead is now gone.
As it stands now, Kenny has lost 8.2 lbs, 3.6% of his bodyweight, and his body fat is down 0.6%.
I have lost 9.0 lbs even, 4.1% of my bodyweight and my body fat is down 2.5%.
I still have a small lead in all categories, but that could all change if Fat Brother Kenny has another standout week. Fat Brother Thomas is hoping that doesn’t happen.
Prize Donation
In other news, the TwoFatBrothers.com 2008 Weight Loss Challenge has its first sponsor! The good people at Iowa Avenue have donated a prize to our competition (check the prize page to see what it is.) Thank you Iowa Avenue!
Iowa Avenue is an online weight management community. It’s free to sign up and once you do you have access to blogs, forums, groups, videos and most importantly other members for peer support. The people in charge are active in the community, commenting on every blog post and keeping tabs with members. I signed up today and have already received personal comments from the admin and resident dietitian. Having a community supporting you while you lose weight can do wonders for motivation and self esteem. Check them out!
Btw, if you or your company would like to sponsor us and donate a prize, contact me at thomas [at mark goes here] twofatbrothers [dot goes here] com.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 3 Comments »
Kenny’s Week 2 Weigh-in
By Kenny | January 13, 2008
Here it is.
Currently down from 230 so that puts me at 7.6 lbs lost. No confusing conversions here, just good ol’ fashoned US customary numbers. No one really knows how Tommy is doing, he just flashes up strange characters that noone recognizes and says “hey, look at me! that translates into losing like 74 koodiliac wattsomaigers! Wow, I’m winning!”
Whatever dude.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 2 Comments »
Thomas’s Week 2 Weigh-in
By Thomas | January 13, 2008
Here are my weigh-in scale pictures for Week 2 of the twofatbrothers.com 2008 Weight Loss Challenge.
95.1 kg translates to 209.2 lbs. That’s 2.4 lbs down from last week! If I’m doing my sums correctly, that means I’ve lost 9 lbs since the start of the year. I’m pretty happy with that. My April 1st weight goal was 205, and it looks like I’m going to get there early. If I do, then I’m going to shoot for 185 and challenge Anderson Silva for the UFC Middleweight title.
Body Fat is at 20.9%, down 1.7% from last week. I don’t know what a reasonable goal for body fat % is. Is 15% possible in 3 months?
I’ve added my week 2 body pictures. You can laugh at them here: Thomas’s pictures.
Stayed tuned for Kenny’s disappointing weigh-ins, coming within the next 24 hours.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 3 Comments »
Get Laid with this Turkey Meatloaf Recipe!!!
By Kenny | January 12, 2008
You wanna get laid? Then make this Turkey Meatloaf Aphrodisiac recipe and share it with someone you don’t detest love. After eating this, your unwitting friend/spouse/(maid) will find you irresistible- guaranteed. So put the kids to bed, light the candles and set the Crisco on the night stand- it’s time to get busy:
1 ½ lbs lean ground turkey (Extra Lean Jennie-O if you can find it)
1 onion chopped (I use red onion)
4 egg whites
1 cup salsa (plus a separate ½ cup salsa)
¾ cups of uncooked oats
1 pkg of Knorr Vegetable soup mix (you can use their spinach or beef/onion varieties as well)
Preheat your oven to 350 F
In a bowl combine ground tukey, onion, egg whites, 1 cup salsa, oats and soup mix and Press the blob into a 9” x 5” loaf pan. Pour ½ cup salsa on top (you can wait 30 minutes into baking to pour the salsa on top if you want). Bake in the oven until it’s no longer pinkish in the center and juice is clear. Usually about 60 minutes. Makes about 5, 5-6 ounce servings that contain about 225 calories, 32G of protein, 15G carbs & 3G of fat (1G sat fat).
Jennie-O sells ground, Extra-Lean turkey that contains a whopping 25 grams of protein and only 1.5 grams of fat in a 4oz serving, plus they sell it 1.25 pound packages so that’s what I use. You can trick up the recipe by trying different soup mixes, different spices or adding stuff like spinach or garlic or whatever other sort of nutrients you’re trying to get more of- it’s a freggin meatloaf so just dump it in there and see what happens.
What makes this so bad-ass is all the different ways you can eat it. Obviously, you can serve it Walton’s style with green beans and mashed potatoes for that homestyle feel, but you can also also wrap it up in a tortilla, add your favorite hot sauce, some healthy cheese and sour cream and you have a delicious taco supreme. You can pour a couple tablespoons of KC masterpiece and treat yourself to some BBQ, or pour spaghetti sauce and some Parmesan cheese, you get the picture. I’m not kidding, you can eat this 4 days a week and feel like you’ve had 4 different meals, and it’s basically the most healthy thing in the world to eat, PLUS it makes everyone want to have sex with you.
So go ahead and try this out, but make sure to eat it with someone you’re at least half-way attracted to. I accidentally ate this with a buddy of mine once and things got real ugly.
You’ve been warned.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 4 Comments »
Back To Work
By Thomas | January 12, 2008
The second week of the competition is nearing its end. I have a slight head start, but I don’t think anyone expects me to lose 6 lbs every week.
This week my New Years holiday ended and I went back to work. This means that although I can stay faithful to my diet, I don’t have as much time to workout. Having an infant at home doesn’t make jogging or hiking easy either. I found a way to workout at home (more on that after weigh-ins) and I’m hoping to work something out to where I can get in a good sweat at work. I have to figure out how to ask for permission to do it in Japanese first though.
Yesterday I took my first “day off” from exercise. Many of my upper-body muscles were extremely sore so I had to take a breather. I haven’t worked out my upper body since college and the rust doesn’t come off easy.
Today is Saturday, so to make up for slacking yesterday, I did double time in the mountains. I think I’m really getting in shape because I wasn’t all that tired when I finished. I’m going to chalk that one up to my weekday workout routine as well (again, I’ll write about that later).
I’ve been weighing myself twice a day (once in the morning and once after my workout) and the weight keeps going down day after day. After today’s excursion I’m eager to see what it will read tomorrow for official weigh-ins. See you then!
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | No Comments »
Diet Tip from God: Eat Bread
By Kenny | January 9, 2008
I like to eat bread. Bread is good. But if you’re not careful, bread can be very bad for you. In fact, bread can kill you. OK, not really, but a lot of bread makers are malicious, evil, sneaky little bastards that will try and trick you into eating bread that is full of refined flour and dye which is very bad for you. I’ll help you navigate the aisle of soft fluffy goodness to help find a bread that is good for you.
First look for wheat bread, but not just any wheat bread- whole grain wheat bread. The key here is the word “whole” before the words “grain” or “wheat”. Evil bread makers will use the words “wheat bread” on the package to fool you but what they mean is “refined flour with the bran and germ stripped away and painted brown leaving you with colored ordinary white bread that spikes your blood sugar and leaves you hungry for more evil, painted white bread soon after.” Refined flour is horrible for you so don’t eat it. Ever. Seriously. White bread and other foods made with refined white flour (simple carbohydrates) are bad for you because they spike your blood sugar. What Dr. Atkins and many other smarty smart smarts took so many pages in so many books to explain, I’ll summarize like this:
Simple carbs = rapid absorbsion = insulin spike = energy peaks = energy lulls = cravings = more simple carbs = rapid absorbtion = insulin spike = no energy because your body doesn’t care about you any more = blindness = limbs falling off = death = family being sad.
You don’t want to make your family sad do you? Good, so don’t eat white bread. Or white rice or a bunch of processed foods like chips, or a bunch of sugar. You still may get hit by a bus though and there’s nothing anyone can do about that.
Back to bread; one excellent bread option comes to us from God.
Read Ezekiel 4:9-17: “Take thou also unto thee wheat, and barley, and beans, and lentils, and millet, and fitches, and put them in one vessel, and make thee bread thereof…”
Bread made this way is extremely healthy. For one it’s a complete protein meaning that it contains all the amino acids that your body can’t make on its own- so you are getting the same quality of protein that you normally would only get from milk or eggs. Also, you’ll notice that the recipe calls for no flour at all, which is good for absorbtion into the bloodstream. While there are many other bread options out there, why argue with God?
The popular brand of this (and the only brand I’ve ever seen at stores) is called Ezekiel and you won’t find it in the bread aisle at the store because it’s in the refrigerated section, where God wants it.
For Atheists (and people who don’t live 2 miles from a Whole Foods) you might prefer a more commonly found whole grain, whole wheat bread. My personal favorite is Oroweat Double Fiber. It’s made with whole grain/whole wheat flour and the bread itself is soft and moist like delicious (evil) white bread. Not to mention it contains 6 grams of fiber which is about ½ of what we need per day! Yea Poo Poo!! There are lots of good options at the store, just make sure that whole grains listed first or second on the ingredients list and find one that you like.
Another option not to be ignored in the bread discussion is Mission Low Carb Tortillas. These torts are low glycemic, so while they aren’t made of whole grains or wheat, they won’t spike your blood sugar. Plus they have 11 grams of fiber per slice and and they taste just like (evil) white flour tortillas. I eat all sorts of stuff on tortillas and the Mission Low Carb have been a wonderful find.
So if you’re like me and you love to eat bread, heed my warnings and take my advice. It just may save your life.
And please look both ways before crossing the street.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 7 Comments »
Control Your Portion Sizes With Dish Sizes
By Thomas | January 8, 2008
Most diets including the popular Medifast diet (Medifast Official Site) that I’ve read about emphasize portion size. They tell you again and again to eat smaller portions. Take that big steak and cut it in half.
There’s nothing groundbreaking here. Eating less food means you put fewer calories in your body. Having fewer calories in your body means that you have less to burn through before you start to lose weight. I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone.
Not everyone likes to measure food though. I’m one of those. I’m not a calorie counter. For me, being so precise about my diet takes the fun out of it. I want to eat smaller portions, but I don’t want to have to think about it. So here’s what I do: I use smaller dishes.
The plate on the left is the one I used to use before my diet. Do you know how many chicken wings you can fit onto that sucker? More than 20 (the wide base makes for easy stacking). The plate on the right is one of my new “diet plates”. After I put some rice down, and some spinach, there’s only room for about 4 chicken wings. I limit what I eat to what I can fit on my dish (plus a bowl of soup).
Same thing with these cups. I used to fill and refill that big Texas cup at every meal. Since I switched to the smaller mug, I find that I drink much less. And I don’t even have to think about it. My portion sizes are less just because!
When you have a big plate and you are hungry, the tendency is put more food on it than you really need to eat. Throw those big plates out. Switch to a smaller plate and your portion sizes will magically shrink.
Topics: Weight Loss Challenge 2008 | 1 Comment »