By Kenny | September 15, 2014
Conte comes out of nowhere to make this interception and leads the Bears to victory!
By Thomas | September 14, 2014
Very similar to last week. I gained 0.2 lbs.
By Thomas | September 7, 2014
Here is my weigh-in from 8/31:
And here is my weigh-in from today, September 7th:
By Kenny | September 7, 2014
I’ve learned very recently that one of the best ways to lose weight fast is to piss. In fact, 9 out of 10 doctors agree that you can lose up to 1 pound of body weight for every 16 oz of water you piss out. AMAZING!!! So you’ll probably want to start pissing as much as you possibly can. If you want to pee all the time, the best way is to drink lots of water. In all seriousness water is really good for you, and it can be an ally in your quest to lose fat aside from just weighing less after your morning Austin Powers piss. Water plays many crucial roles within the body, like serving as a medium for molecular interactions, distributing nutrients, hormones, etc…around your body and between cells, removing waste, regulating your body temperature and acting as a lubricant for joints and even acting as a shock absorber for your feeble brain. But who cares about all that jibber jabber- how does drinking water help you become less of a fat-ass? Being hydrated is important for fat metabolism which is performed by your liver. If you’re trying to lose fat, you want your liver focused on metabolizing your body fat for energy as much as possible, however, if you’re not getting enough water, the liver will kick in and start helping your pathetic, dehydrated, water-deprived kidneys perform it’s functions, so instead of metabolizing fat into usable energy that you could be using to read blogs, fat is rerouted directly to your ass where everyone can see it and laugh at you. You don’t want people to laugh at you do you? Then drink more water. Now that I have this blog, people are always stopping me on the street and asking me questions, “Fat Brother Kenny, I’m afraid if I drink a bunch of water my scale will go up and I want it to go down…What should I do?” And to them I say, “Move out of my way pathetic, dehydrated fat person, I got shit to do.” And I walk away. What I would say to them, if I weren’t so important, is that the best way to stop retaining water, is to drink water. All the time. Like right now. Seriously- go get some water. I’ll wait………. Our bodies have great survival instincts and if it senses that we are not getting enough water, our bodies will go into water retention mode and start conserving water in all sorts of ways that aren’t ideal, like outside of your cells in your hands, feet, lower legs, and yes, your stomach and ass. The best way to remedy this is to give your body the water it needs, whether your thirsty or not. Once your body sees that it’s getting enough water, it will store what it needs in your cells (where you want it) and get rid of it’s water stores elsewhere in your body (where you don’t want it).
So how much is enough? If you talk to They, They says to drink 8, 8oz glasses a day and another 8oz glass for every 25 pounds you want to lose. But if you talk to They’s younger, hipper brother Them, Them says to divide your body weight by 2, and that’s how many ounces you need per day, but you can include all the liquids you drink (but not alcohol or liquid codeine). So for me at roughly 235 pounds, that means I’d need 117 oz of water and assorted liquids per day, plus a little more if I’m working out and exercising. WARNING: don’t try to drink all of your daily water at one time or you will die like that woman who tried to win a video game for her kids. I try, like They says, to drink a minimum of 72oz per day (8, 8oz glasses plus 1 8 oz glass for the 25 lbs I’m trying to lose) and I’ll drink more if I work out. My strategy to accomplish this is I chug 16 oz of water first thing in the morning and 16 oz before bed no matter what. During the day at work I use a 20 oz water bottle that I fill up and drink 2x per day, which comes to 72oz which is, if you subscribe to They’s theory, about right for a 230-something-pound-Swedish-American-stud-hunk. If I work out that day, I’ll drink 16-20oz while I’m doing that in addition to my routine. I’ve tried to drink 115+ oz of liquids like Them says to do, but I found it insanely difficult to do every day so by not counting ice-tea at lunch or my morning coffee in my daily water count, I’m keeping things simple and getting somewhere in between the 75oz of water They says to drink, and the 117oz of assorted liquids Them says to drink, and that makes Everybody happy. By the way, just so you know, if you haven’t been drinking a lot of water, then you start do like I did, you are going to have to pee all the damn time. You’re going to think something’s wrong with you, and you’re probably right about that, but it doesn’t have to do with your peeing all the time. That part’s normal. Your body is flushing itself of all it’s extracellular water stores and for a few days you’re going to have to piss. A lot. But after a few days, you’re life will return to normal. Well your peeing life will at least.
Tommy you should probably add 1 or 2 cups of water per day make up for the tears of sadness and frustration that you cry out every night knowing you will lose to me in this competition.
By Kenny | September 4, 2014
Despite not being able to run because of Fat Brother Tommy’s ruthless sabotage and eating mostly BBQ and Hamburgers I still came in a little lighter this week. My secret strategy is starting to kick in and pay off! Looks like Fat Brother Tommy has missed a post? What is happening???
Skeptical Yak looking at Tommy skeptically.
By Kenny | August 24, 2014
This week was a bit of a struggle as I dealt with an injury that I sustained while jogging. Yes, jogging. After talking to FB Tommy about his running regimen, he mentioned that he had been running with flat, thin-soled running shoes as opposed to the typical running shoe with a padded, raised heal. He mentioned that after switching to the low shoe, his endurance increased almost overnight and he was able to run much further than before. This sounded great so I tried running with a flat shoe and low and behold I noticed the same thing- it took a little getting used to since your foot strikes the ground differently with a flat shoe as opposed to the raised heal shoe. For me, I still felt like I was hitting heel first, but not as much as when I had the padded shoes, plus it was a little noisier, but I noticed right away that I could run further than before, meaning I could run further before slowing to walk a bit. After 2 runs things were going great, but what happened on my 3rd run sucked. I was running along making good time, enjoying the sounds of the chirds burping when I noticed some pain/tension in the inside portion of my right calf. I tried running through it as sometimes little aches and pains can crop up while running, but this was probably a bad ideal. The more I ran on it, the more it hurt and as it turned out, I had to walk the rest of the way home with a pretty serious limp. I still didn’t think much of it, I figured I could just stretch it out like you would a cramped muscle, though that’s not what this was, so I did some wall push stretches to see if I could work out the tightness. That day, and the next day I was in some pretty serious pain- it was difficult walking and I had a noticeable limp and going up, and especially down, stairs was near impossible. I still don’t really know exactly what happened to me, but after reading a few articles http://goo.gl/5rqaO9 , http://goo.gl/t6v1Jh , http://goo.gl/flXAif , I figured that I strained my Soleus by running too far, too soon on flat shoes. Apparently my Achilles tendons have become atrophied over time due to shoe technology minimizing their activation in running. As a result my Achilles are shorter and less flexible so when I got rid of the padded modern shoe and went minimalist, I started stretching muscles and tendons in my lower leg, that probably needed some transition time. The advice I’ve read says that I need to slow down and take my time by alternating walking and running and not going all out right away. I’m also reading that there is a technique that takes some getting used to where you purposely strike the ground by ‘kissing the ground with the balls of your feet’. Whatever that means. Granted everyone is different and some people won’t experience the problems that I’m having, but I’m not going to give up on the flat shoe running method yet. After about 5 days of rest, I feel like I’m ready to hit the road again and this time I’m going to try and be more mindful of my technique and just sort of throw any sort of performance goals out the window.
Despite being weak, frail and old, I still have managed to steadily lose weight, most likely due to my super-secret-weight-loss-strategy so my weigh-in for the week is fairly decent, though likely not what it would have been if I didn’t have the calves of a 72 year old.
By Thomas | August 24, 2014
Another good weigh-in. Getting close to the 20s in both weight and body-fat. As of this week I’ve lost more total weight than I did in 2008′s Weight Loss Challenge.
- Original Weight: 265.7
- Current Weight: 232.6 lbs
- Lost since last week: 1.7 lbs
- Lost since contest start: 33.1 lbs
- Percentage body-weight lost to date: 12.4%
- Original Body Fat: 33.8
- Current Body Fat: 30.1%
- Lost since last week: 0.3%
- Lost since contest start: 3.7%
By Thomas | August 17, 2014
This was a good week for me. I had two personal running records back-to-back:
I checked my run history and I was struggling to do 1.5 miles in April. That’s a big improvement!
Here is my weigh-in from this morning:
- Original Weight: 265.7
- Current Weight: 234.3 lbs
- Lost since last week: 3.6 lbs
- Lost since contest start: 31.4 lbs
- Percentage body-weight lost to date: 11.8%
- Original Body Fat: 33.8
- Current Body Fat: 30.4%
- Lost since last week: 0.5%
- Lost since contest start: 3.4%
By Thomas | August 11, 2014
I gained a little bit this week, but still below 240.
By Kenny | August 3, 2014
my weigh in
my birthday card
suspicious Llama looking at Tommy suspiciously